Do you every stop feeling the loss of your daddy? I've been in a mellow mood, yes another birthday coming. No, I'm not sad because of the aging thing, that's great! I'm sad because I'm always remnded of what I still long for but can't have. I know at this point in my life I should have gotten use to the loss but honestly I just haven't, I'm really not sure I ever will. Now that I've reconnected with my bio mom I can ask those questions of what were those few months like? Yes, how many months were there really? So it looks like I had my dad for four months before he left for Germany and when he came back he was broken. Yes, broken, it's the best way I think to describe someone who's there but not. So I had my dad in one piece for a few months and I've missed him my whole life. And I can't even remember those few months because I was a new born. Kinda twisted at best.

So I ponder when will the void heal? or will it go to the grave with me? I know it's a small thing to lose when so many people have even less. But it sill hurts after all these years. And I know first hand that no one else can replace your daddy no matter how much you want them to. I'll have another birthday and a good cry, have to own those emotions ya know, and try not to feel this way till the next holiday.

All you men out there with daughters, don't forget you really do matter in their life. It's just a pure and simple fact of life, every daughter needs to be a Daddy's Girl!